About This Service

Uh oh. Is this yet another writer pleading for work? You have found me. My ideal career path vanished when the long-term company I wrote for shut down without warning.

That, however, is excellent news for you. So, pour yourself a cup of coffee, grab a generously sprinkled doughnut, and let\'s have a conversation.

My writing experience is extensive. I have crafted material ranging from comedic roasts and articles to stand-up comedy, speeches of every variety, greeting cards, web content, advertising copy, social media posts, and beyond.

Do you have a project that is novel and intriguing, or perhaps routine and dull? I am equipped to handle it regardless.

My background includes several roles: copywriter, ghostwriter, author of tedious manuals, writer of stand-up and roast material, social media manager for a television personality, article writer, and even scribe of bathroom wall graffiti. For full transparency, I took Tylenol two decades ago.

I am available for any and all writing assignments. I should specify almost any type, because, as you know, one receives strange proposals here.

As is likely evident already, I am a pleasure to collaborate with. I respect budgetary constraints and possess both a strong sense of humor and a professional, serious demeanor. If a project requires a solemn or sensitive touch, I will peel onions to ensure the appropriate emotional state while writing, much like I did for this five-dollar advertisement.

Do you need something completed by 3 a.m.? I will get it done. As demonstrated, I prefer to utilize my own intellect over artificial intelligence, though I do hold a certificate from an AI course I completed. AI lacks the personality inherent to human writers. Hire an authentic writer.

Send your project my way. I am in need of work. Otherwise, you may soon see me on a street corner with a tin cup of pencils and a pair of sunglasses. Do not feel guilted, of course. Did I mention I would have to downgrade to number one pencils instead of number two?

Did I mention my cat?

Did I mention my landlord growls?

Did I mention I despise ramen noodles?

I await your emails. Thank you.

Still waiting.

Alright. Press send, and I will receive that email.